ASK ROCK!
by Nae'ka
Summary: Ask Rock anything you wish! He will awnser. His life depends on it.
1. Chapter 1

**ASK ROCK!**

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Rock here. I have just been told that the only way I can get off death row is to awnser the questions people have about what happened during the revoluton with the government... and.. uh.. what has happened with my.. personal life. Past present... ect.

I will awnser ALL of your questions as best I can. Ask anything...

OR I WILL DIE!!!! COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!????!!!!

PLEASE!

-Rock


	2. Chapter 2

ASK ROCK!

Ask Rock anything. AND HE SHALL AWNSER! (Rock trembles.) IT WON'T BE THAT BAD!

* * *

Dear Rock,

A girl I know says hurtful, racist things to me. When I tell her to  
stop, she calls me a "chumba-were." I asked her what that meant, and she  
said it means I have chesticles on my face. Rock, why do you think she  
says these things? And if you met Patrick Swayze, what would you ask  
him?

love, Emma  
xxxxxx

Dear Emma,

I don't even know what chesticles are, but I looked it up over the internet and found nothing. Bad Grammer. Racist people have serious mental problems. AND they refuse to listen to reason. Science has proven us all to be the same, besides some outter traits. Who ever the hell she think she is, she is not. She is a retard. With bad grammer. PLUS! You are a very talented writer. I just have to add that in here. IGNORE HER MORONIC STATMENTS! They mean nothing.

Patrick Swayze? Uhhh... Well, I guess I would ask for an autograph. Then sell it on Ebay. Then I would ask if the 'healing-crystals' he buys really work. Then I would leave before he could talk about scientology.

Rock

* * *

Dear Rock,

How big a breakfast do you eat each day?

Did the Marduks ever have big drunken parties to celebrate successful  
missions?

If so, have you ever done anything embarassing while drunk at these  
parties?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Tetsu Deinonychus,

1.) Eat 8 raw eggs and a gallon of milk. NOT! I eat a regular breakfast unless something comes up.

2.) Yes. Yes they did.

3.) Yes. Yes I did. A few times. The first was mooning President Boon. Father was PISSED! The second was shooting myself on the right leg. There was blood every where. The LAST TIME I ever drank was when I got married.

To a guy.

END OF DISCUSION!

Rock.

* * *

Any other questions?


	3. Chapter 3

OMUGOSH! LOOK! It's an update!!!!!!!!!!

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LOL!! Hilarious. Here are my questions:(they have different names for  
everyone)

#1: If given the option, would you marry me?(I'm not asking you to,  
just if  
you were given the option)

-Da Chiz

#2: Have you ever wondered why your name is Rock? When you think about  
it,  
it's a weird name. But one time, in an AMV, I saw that your name used  
to be  
Luke. WHAT THE HECK! You don't look like a Luke. What do you think  
about  
that?

-Mrs. Muffin

#3: My friend would totally dig you. But she hasn't seen Metropolis. If  
I ask  
her to, she'll probably say 'She doesn't feel like it' because that's  
what I  
said to her about something else. But she'd TOTALLY dig you. What  
should I  
do?

-Fredgar's sister

#4: I want you to eat dirt for no reason. Please?

-skdfhjailurehgjfgWERGQWRGqrwgQWERG

(P.S.: Nae'ka, I made a fic about your 40 pranks thing! I'll PM you  
when I  
post it.)

kAiRi Of UzEnIbA cLaN  
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Dear Chiz,

1. Uhhhhhmmmmmm. I don't know you. Maybe. Yes? I get bored. Enmy left. She's gone... Yeah. Why not?

Dear Muffin,

2. My name is Rock because Duke Red felt like naming me that. That's all I know about that.

My American counter part is named Luke because people didn't want to picture the wrestler when they thought of me. Personally, I prefer it. It was MORE THOUGHT OUT! But I don't look like a Luke do I? Can you think of something better?

Dear Fredgar's sister,

3. Wow... uh. Tell her she would (quote) Totally dig (unquote) me. If she is an anime fan, then she should anyway, just for the sake of the Otaku name.

Dear Ooga-Booga can't pronounce the name,

4. Metaphorically or literally? Either or. No. I am very sorry for any inconvenience, but... No.

Rock (aka: Luke)

(From Nae'Ka: I can't wait!)

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Dear Rock,

Do you ever use your gun to open beers, turn off the TV, wake people up, etc?

Why didn't it occur to you that helping Kenichi run away with Tima would have been an easier way to get rid of her than tricking, kidnapping and trying to dissect her?

Were you ever made to host embarrassing PSA commercials on TV (Rock says "Don't Do Drugs", that kinda thing)?

Why do you were sunglasses at night?

Does the Marduk uniform include special undergarments?

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Dear Tetsu Deinonychus,

1. I don't drink anymore. As I said in the last chapter, drinking is BAD! I have shot a bottle out of a Malduke or two's hand before. Heh heh. Never to turn off the tv though, unless I never want to turn it on again. I have a very powerful gun. Wait... I meant a hand gun! Uh... ONE YOU SHOOT! (I'll just stop there... ) I use it to wake people up EVERY MORNING! Although father got angry when the ceiling caved in. There was no one killed, but a few serious injuries. I shouldn't have to wake their lazy axxes up anyway!!!!

2. What? Are you trying to insult me here? HUH? ARE YOU!?!?!?!?! No it didn't. SO THERE! (mumbles) I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling kid and his stupid uncle. (Kenichi shows up out of no where and gives a thumbs up, then leaves.)

3. No. IT WAS WORSE! I had to feed and change the diapers of... OLD PEOPLE! (shivers) At least _they_ don't yell at me. (referring to Dukie boy here!)

4. BECAUSE I CAN! (Nae'Ka: My theory is that he wishes to hide his innocent and cute little blue eyes, when he is trying to look tough. Typical guy. lol.)

5. Well. This is a HIGHLY appropriate question. YES! I don't wear it though. The last thing I need is a...

Police: SORRY KIDDIES! This is enough questions for today!

Rock: I'M NOT DONE!

Police: To bad!

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Thanks guys! I am soooo sorry for not updateing anything recently! I was banned from the computer for that time, and will be again until about August 16.

Luv ya lotz,

Nae'Ka-chan


	4. Chapter 4

Woot! I am back and better than ever! (maybe)

* * *

I know it'll be a while before you can update, but here are my questions: 

#1: Did you and Stupidheadretardface(a.k.a. Duke Red) ever get along? Ever?

#2: Did you ever have a girlfriend?

#3: Were you under Stupidheadretardface's(a.k.a. Duke Red's) care when Tima was alive?

#4: PINEAPPLE BABY?!

From Your Former Semi-Fangirl,  
Kairi Uzeniba

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Dear FORMER _SEMI_-FANGIRL! (what is that supposed to mean anyway?)

1. Hmmm... This is a toughy. I think so, back when he cared about things like... oh you know, REALITY!

2. ... Uh... Well, you know. Uhm.

Yeah. I did. No more on this subject.

3. Nope! He tried to replace her with me. But when that didn't work, he made a robot. I wonder what Tima would think of that?

4. NO!

Was that a legible awnser? 0o

xxxRock, over and out.

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This is short. But I shall take more questions if you wish!

Nae'Ka-chan


	5. Chapter 5

Woot! I am back and better than ever! (maybe)

Rock: This set of questions has left me feeling very violated.

GET OVER IT!

* * *

Hooray! Update! You're back sooner than I thought! Yay! Here's what I'd  
like  
it to look like:

Questions from me!

#1: WHO WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!?!?!? Nae'ka says you MUST answer!  
TellmepleaseprettypleaspleasetellmeNOW!

#2: When you're feeling emo, how do you make yourself happy again? I'm  
feeling emo, so I really need a 'pick-me-up'...

#3: Have you ever thought that Duke Red is a prick?

#4: DO YOU LIKE TENNIS?!

Comment: Former-semi-fangirl means...uh...this:  
Former: Used to be  
Semi: Half  
Fangirl: You know that.  
So I used to be half a fangirl. Half because I was only sort of a  
fangirl,  
but not really. So yeah.

From Your Former-Semi-Fangirl,  
Kairi Uzeniba  
xxxxxx

Dear Very random former-semi-fangirl,

1. (glares at Nae'Ka) I have had a few. Mostly maids. (Nae'Ka: cough Enmy cough) And as I said in one of the chapters, I was married once.

2.Emo? Uh... I shoot some one. OR I sing one really depressing song, then I sing 'Barbie girl' and picture Tima and Kenichi. The later leads to no guilt as well!

3. OF COURSE! I mean, I do every thing in my power to make the man happy.. I protect him, I take care of him, I love him (cough) and he just decides that HE WOULD RATHER PLAY WITH ROBOTS! So why did I love him (AS A FATHER YOU FREAKS) for so long. I don't know. But I drew the line after I got shot, and he didn't care. And yet I still came back for him. I do- (Nae'Ka: OKAY WE GET IT!)

4.Wow thats... random... Not really. It's kinda girlie. And there really isn't anywhere to play in Metropolis.

Rock, over and out

Ps: Does that mean you hate me now?

* * *

Dear Rock,

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Do you think you could beat up H.G. Wells?

Do you think you could beat up Orson Welles?

If Ken'ichi rebuilds Tima, and they live happily ever after, and  
someday,  
years from now, they get married, and Ken'ichi asks you to be best-man,  
but  
they have to frisk you to make sure you don't bring your gun and start  
shooting stuff, then how much does a pound of butter weigh?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

1. HA! I KNOW THIS! A wood chuck would chuck as much wood as he could chuck... Ugh... wait...

2. Yes.

3.DUH!

4. 00() Uh... A pound. Unless it's shoved up Kenichi's lying Fxxxing Axx!

* * *

Um, I was his girlfriend, Kairi. Lol, j/k

Dear Rock,

Did you ever look at Duke Red and go "damn! that's a fine piece o' man  
!"

Did Kenichi ever drink you under the table?

Did Tima ever drink you under the table?

When are you gonna come over and see your baby? He needs to know who  
his  
FATHER is! Oh sure, your job keeps you busy... too busy to pick up some  
milk  
and toilet paper, right? I saw you playing ski ball with the bimbo from  
paint  
department! And don't get me started on our "family vacations". You  
know, I  
don't care if it was the world's largest grape, it's not like you could  
eat  
it, I mean they had it in that glass jar...  
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Rocku, (I love your name KD)

1. --# Uhm... Maybe once or twice... ONLY WHEN I WAS DRUNK! (eye twitch)

2. WHY THE Hxxx WOULD I WANT A LEPRECHON TO... TO... ICK!

3. Nor would I want a robot to.

Duke: Just because you wouldn't want them to, doesn't mean they wouldn't...

THAT'S SICK!

4. You've got no proof that the illegitimate child is mine! NONE! And since when was it a he? Milk and toilet paper? What about school, and all that other crap, huh? How do you expect to take care of Billy, WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN WLK STRAIGHT! HUH? And that bimbo just happens to be your SISTER! WHAT NOW, HUH? Family vacations? I brought you on an OCEAN CRUISE! And all you did was complain that we had to wash the decks! Do you think I'm made of money woman? HUH? I LIKED THAT GRAPE! I LIKED IT! You never consider my feelings! DO YOU? NO! I could have easily shot the glass open! I CAN SPEND MY LIFE SAVEINGS ON WHAT EVER THE HELL I WANT!!!!!!

* * *

Nae'Ka: Oooooooooohkaaaay... Do you even know what you're talking about?

Rock: (still panting) No... not really...

Nae'Ka: (Sweat drop) ANYWAYS! Onward with the questions!


	6. Chapter 6

Rock: Oh god! Another chapter!

Nae'Ka: Yeah, they are getting REALLY REALLY RANDOM!

Rock: (trembles)

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Dear Rock,

What do you think of the recent rumors that Ken'ichi has been so  
frustrated  
trying to rebuild Tima that he's taken to blowing-off steam by giving  
surprise  
wedgies, noogies, wet-willies, and ATOMIC wedgies (where the  
underwear-elastic  
is actually pulled over the victim's head) to random victims?

Aren't you worried he might come for you?

Were you ever on a sugar/caffeine buzz when you and the Marduks were  
out on a  
mission?

How far is up (and if so why)?

Is it true that the Ziggurat was 95 duct tape and tin-foil?  
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1. It's not surpriseing, seeing as I have NEVER trusted his sanity... I mean COME ON! His 'falling in love' with Tima is like me falling in love with say... A TOASTER! Yeah... That doesn't surprise me at all.

2. Nope. That freak tries anything on me... I'LL BLOW HIS LITTLE HEAD OFF! (takes a big breath and smiles joyfully.) Mettaphoricly of coarse! (Nae'Ka: Ha... Police threats... work every time! )

3. Hmmmm... Yeah... but nothing really interesting happened... and only a few deaths...

4. It all counts... How far is low. If I have that, I can finish the equation... I need another variable!

5. (laughs) NO! God, who would be that stupid? It's only 94.134513453245345634423734598723 Duct tape and tin! SHEESH!

(Nae'Ka: I think you guys are driveing him insane!)

Rock over ond out

* * *

LOL! 

Dear Rock,

#1:Have you ever called Duke Red 'Dukey'?

#2: What brand of toilet paper do you use? REAL MEN USE CHARMIN!

#3: Have you ever...'done it'?... I know you have with Rocku(your  
child) and  
probably Enmy, but who else?

From Your Former-Semi-Fangirl,  
Kairi Uzeniba  
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1. Once. People can, rather ONLY, call him 'dukey' once. ONLY! It is dangerous to pass that number... heh heh...

2. NU UH! Real men use ANGEL SOFT! So there!

(Nae'Ka: Yeah... he's lost it...)

3. Uh... I... don't remember...

Rock over and out.

* * *

Rock: I am getting exhausted...

Nae'Ka: Okay... I think you need a break... NEXT CHAPTER CAN GO TO ANY CHARICTOR _BUT_ ROCK!

Rock: How do you expect them to agree to that?

Nae'Ka: Oh, you know... threats... black mail... _your gun_...

Rock: Uhhhh...

CHAPTER OVER!


	7. Chapter 7

Nae'Ka: ALRIGHTY!

* * *

Questions da mi!

#1: Duke Red, WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID!?!?!?!

#2: Enmy, does it disturb you that Rock dressed up like you?

#3: (I know I'm no supposed to ask Rock, but I have to!) Rock, have you  
ever  
used your Enmy costume as a Halloween costume?

From Rock's Former-Semi-Fangirl,  
Kairi Uzeniba  
xxxxxxx

1. Dukie: Well, excuse _me. _

Enmy: I think it might be related to his nose.

Dukie: WHAT?

Enmy: (shrugs)

2. Enmy: Heh... He paid me for it! Money speaks!

Rock: Duke Red's money... ;)

Enmy: Yeah... you are so cute.

Rock:( NO I'M NOT!

Enmy: Cute pouty face!

Rock: NOOOOO

3. Rock: No that was the first time I had worn it.

Enmy: He he... Isn't he just a doll? You should have seen him before we put the face on him, (or wig) he was SO CUTE in that dress!

Rock: Stop. Now.

* * *

Dear Ken'ichi,

Have you really become a serial wedgie-giver?

If so, any plans for Rock?

Any progress rebuilding Tima?

Do you dream of a reunion with Tima every night?

Why do you dress like a vaudeville comedian?

-

Dear Duke Red,

Ever hang a decoration of some kind from your nose?

Is it true that you raise rabid howler monkeys for a hobby?

Did you really found the Marduks for a reason or was it just because of  
a  
game of truth or dare?

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1+2: Kenichi: (is tied to a chair and Naeka is hold ing a gun to his head) Uh... _what? _I have been to busy for... _whaat? _

Rock: He is _so_ lying.

3. Kenichi: (sob) I have to find all of her first. AND THE GOVERNMENT ISN'T HELPING!

Dukie: I don't want to end up like Rock! They can't know I had ANYTHING TO DO with her.

Kenichi: YOU CREATED HER!

Dukie: ...

4. Kenichi: YES! Not only every night, but also every day, every second I dream of her...

Rock: You need a life.

Enmy: Indeed.

Kenichi: LOOK WHOS TALKING ROCK! At least Tima is a GIRL! (is referring to the whole 'rock and dukie' situation.)

5. Kenichi: A what? 0o

Enmy: You're really clueless, aren't you? (Puts her hand over her face and shakes her head... (This is from ffx!))

TO DUKIE!

Dukie: QUIT CALLING ME THAT!

NO!

1. Dukie: I'm not even going to answer that question.

Nae'Ka: (holds Rocks gun to Dukies head)

Dukie: ONLY WHEN I GET REALLY DRUNK!

Rock: As I said in previous chapters... Drinking is a dangerous thing... For your self esteem.

2. Dukie: No. And if I did, they would NOT be rabid.

Enmy: Rabies shots... HURT LIKE HELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!

Nae'Ka: (shivers down spine)

3. Dukie: Not truth or dare... actually it was a bet.

Enmy: (shakes her head)

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CHAPTER END!

Rock: I feel better now.

Nae'Ka: Good, the others ran for their lives... I don't think we'll ever see them again...

Rock: (sobs)

Nae'Ka: Oh god... I told you he wouldn't care...

Enmy: I'll get him back!

Nae'Ka: Oh god...


	8. Chapter 8

Another episode of ASK ROCK!

Enmy: I got Red back!

Nae'Ka: (sighs)

* * *

Dear Rock, 

Is prison food really as bad as I heard it is?  
And, is it any worse than Marduk rations?

Ever play Candy-Land?

Besides the Ziggurat, what's the coolest thing you've ever blown up?

x

Dear Ken'ichi

Do you have certain dreams about Tima? (You know the kind of dreams I'm talking about)

Ever play Candy-Land?

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Dear Tetsu,

1. YES! UGH!

2. Hm... maybe. I never really had to deal with the Marduke rations, accounting on I was living with my... my... DUKE RED!

Enmy: Good job!

3. Nope. T.T What kind of... never mind... -.-

4. Ha ha. Hard choice.. I blew up this cake once... long story. But that was cool. It was a wedding cake, so it was quite large. It went every where. (smug grin) I also blew up a mechanical camel at an opera Red took me to. That was the first AND the last time. It is also a long story.

x

1.Eh? No! Never! Thats... horrible! How could I... No!

Rock: Exactly... He can't even imagine doing some thing like (sencored for seventeen seconds)

Kenichi: 8Q

Enmy: XD

2. NO! (goes off to pout)

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Hooray! So can we still ask everyone questions or just Rock?

#1: Rock, have you ever looked at Enmy as a motherly figure?

#2: Dukie, have you ever farted in the tub?

#3: Kenichi, did you ever have...'mature' thoughts about Tima? I really do have problems, don't I...?

#4: Rock again, why did you decide to kill yourself at the end of the movie? I still don't really understand that...

From Rock's Former-Semi-Fangirl,  
Kairi Uzeniba

x

1. Rock: 0o

Enmy: You better say no.

Rock: Yes I have.

Enmy: Bastard.

2. Duke: What? Oh god... WHY NOT?

Enmy: That means yes. XD XD

3. Kenichi: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?????

Enmy: That also means yes. XD XD XD XD XD

4. Rock: Because I was already dead, and the world would be completely dead if the Ziggurat wasn't gone.

Enmy: And...

Rock: And... (mumbles) What did I have to live for?

Duke: (much to everyones suprise he sighs) (and mumbles something)

Enmy: XD

Rock: What?

Duke: (blush) I SAID I'M SORRY!

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Nae'Ka-chan: Sorry everyone. I just had to make that last line happen. It will probubly go into my fic about Duke and Rock. I just feel so sorry for Rock. And whats really pathetic of me is I have never read any of the other Manga from him.. I want to! I just... ugh... can't find them.

Love you all! Man, this is starting to develope a plot. That shouldn't happen.. 0o oi.


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own the definition of 'Flying Buttress' That came from Wikipedia, OF WHICH I OBVIOUSLY DON'T OWN! And btw: I don't own Metropolis or any of its charicters either.

Another episode of ASK ROCK!

Starts... NOW! XD

* * *

1: Rock, have you ever had to face -gasp- valley girls? Have you ever  
shot  
one (or more) ? 

2: Dukie, is Enmy secretly Tima's mom?

3: Enmy, are you secretly Tima's mom? It totally works...I have issues.

4: Tima, technically you're human in every aspect except, well, you  
know. So  
doesn't that mean you'd have "human" thoughts about Kenichi?

5: Shunsaku Ban, do you know what a flying buttrice is?

6: Everyone, if I was a character in Metropolis, DESCRIBE ME!

From Rock's Former Semi-Fangirl and Thinker of Disturbing Thoughts,  
Kairi Uzeniba  
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Dear Kairi Uzeniba (Rock: odd last name, eh?)

1. Rock: ... Does Tima count? 0.o (thinks about it) There _was_ this time where I had to face one. Yeah... didn't shoot her though. I just threw her off the top of a ninety story building.

2. Dukie: No. Straight forward, no.

3. Enmy: (whispers) Yes. Definately, yes. But it _is_ a secret. So don't tell Dukie. XD

4.Tima: Huh?

Kenichi: '//.//' Ah! Nothing, Tima!

Rock: Tima?

Tima: Hm?

Rock: Do you comprehend, 'sexual'?

Kenichi: AH! SHUT UP! (imagine this in his annoying Japanese voice XDDD)

5. Shunsaku Ban: A flying buttress is usually on a religious building, used to transmit the thrust of a vault across an intervening space, which might be an aisle, chapel or cloister, to a buttress outside the building.

Rock: I think she said 'buttrice'.

S.B.: That must have been a typo.

Rock: No.

S.B.: ...

Enmy: That brings bad images to mind.

Rock: ...

6. Rock: Okay... You would be a Marduke.

Kenichi: Nu-uh.

Atlas: Upper class, by the way you form your words.

Rock: Where the hell did you come from?

Atlas: ... (runs away)

Enmy: Maybe not upper class... But close to it. A maid, maybe? XD

Kenichi: A perverted maid.

Rock: Helps me kill Tima.

Enmy: XD

Kenichi: She is nice, and SAVES her from Rock. _Unlike Enmy..._

Tima: She is a robot.

Everyone else: ...

x Rock, Tima, Kenichi, Atlas, Enmy, Shunsaku Ban, Duke Red.

(just an after note:

Kenichi: HA! She is your FORMER fangirl.

Rock: Better watch your back on the way out, kid.

Kenichi: O.O)

* * *

I needed something to do. So I updated. Yeah... 


End file.
